Green Baron
Diamond Member
Banned
Why do I start what I can't finish?
|
Post by Green Baron on Sept 6, 2014 14:50:38 GMT -5
A Ranking of Every Alternative #1 Song Ever in the 26+ Year History of the ChartSome people may be asking why I did this. And it's because I love the format so damn much that I had to. Every single song that went to #1, from the legendary to the substandard to the absolute horseshit is going to be put through my cynical, nihilistic, misanthropic filters and what comes out is going to be a fluid ranking, from the bottom to the top. This project may take months to finish. But for what it's worth, I think some of these rankings will surprise a lot of people, actually. What I pretend to act like is different from my honest opinion on how I actually feel, so don't grill me for putting Ho Hey in the top 30 or Seether in the bottom 20, deal?
|
|
Green Baron
Diamond Member
Banned
Why do I start what I can't finish?
|
Post by Green Baron on Sept 6, 2014 15:22:57 GMT -5
|
|
|
|
Post by somelikeitwhen on Sept 6, 2014 15:24:08 GMT -5
Staind's Believe to be last please.
|
|
Zeebz
Diamond Member
trashy
Joined: January 2013
Posts: 11,999 
|
Post by Zeebz on Sept 6, 2014 15:24:33 GMT -5
This does sound pretty cool actually. I'll try to follow along. :)
|
|
Deleted
Joined: January 1970
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Sept 6, 2014 15:24:34 GMT -5
Oreilly
|
|
H.
5x Platinum Member
Joined: June 2014
Posts: 5,447
|
Post by H. on Sept 6, 2014 15:26:03 GMT -5
I'll be following.
|
|
|
|
Post by somelikeitwhen on Sept 6, 2014 15:26:35 GMT -5
BTW does this use Billboard or Mediabase/R&R? I'd assume the former because that way it's more comprehensive (R&R only had an album chart until 1994).
|
|
Green Baron
Diamond Member
Banned
Why do I start what I can't finish?
|
Post by Green Baron on Sept 6, 2014 15:36:52 GMT -5
BTW does this use Billboard or Mediabase/R&R? I'd assume the former because that way it's more comprehensive (R&R only had an album chart until 1994). Billboard. |
|
|
|
Post by somelikeitwhen on Sept 6, 2014 15:39:44 GMT -5
Sucks to be Don't Tread on Me and Save Me from 2005 then (in contrast DOA hit #1 on Billboard but not R&R). I think it has to do with a bigger panel (R&R didn't add satellite stations until the end of 2005 so it wasn't as inclusive).
|
|
Green Baron
Diamond Member
Banned
Why do I start what I can't finish?
|
Post by Green Baron on Sept 6, 2014 15:42:38 GMT -5
Sucks to be Don't Tread on Me and Save Me from 2005 then (in contrast DOA hit #1 on Billboard but not R&R). I think it has to do with a bigger panel (R&R didn't add satellite stations until the end of 2005 so it wasn't as inclusive). If we used Mediabase, "Schism" would easily be my #1 #1 of all time, but no. |
|
Lahey's Lucky Star
Diamond Member
Banned
You must be my lucky star
Joined: January 2014
Posts: 15,666
|
Post by Lahey's Lucky Star on Sept 6, 2014 16:36:07 GMT -5
Which means no "Sail" YAAAAAAAS LORDT
|
|
Cody
6x Platinum Member
Joined: August 2008
Posts: 6,692
|
Post by Cody on Sept 6, 2014 16:36:57 GMT -5
Sucks to be Don't Tread on Me and Save Me from 2005 then (in contrast DOA hit #1 on Billboard but not R&R). I think it has to do with a bigger panel (R&R didn't add satellite stations until the end of 2005 so it wasn't as inclusive). If we used Mediabase, "Schism" would easily be my #1 #1 of all time, but no. I might be the only person on this entire damn forum who was happier with the 1-week BB #1 between "Its Been Awhile" and "Smooth Criminal", Sum 41's "Fat Lip", which is legendary. Anyways, yeah, I'll definitely be following. |
|
Green Baron
Diamond Member
Banned
Why do I start what I can't finish?
|
Post by Green Baron on Sept 6, 2014 16:43:25 GMT -5
I need to listen to some of the 80s stuff, but then I'll start.
|
|
Web
3x Platinum Member
Joined: January 2014
Posts: 3,985
|
Post by Web on Sept 6, 2014 17:05:36 GMT -5
good luck, I'll be interested to see where everything ends up.
|
|
Green Baron
Diamond Member
Banned
Why do I start what I can't finish?
|
Post by Green Baron on Sept 7, 2014 10:16:39 GMT -5
316
BUTTERFLY
Crazy Town
#1 for 2 weeks, 26 weeks on chart [2001]
So, what's the absolute worst song to top the Alternative charts, ever? Well, it's this complete crapfest of a song that had no place on the chart at all. Even in the peak of nu-metal, there was no song worse than Crazy Town's "Butterfly", which was all rap and no rock. From its absolutely s**tty hormone-influenced lyrics ("Such a sexy, sexy pretty little thing
, fierce nipple pierced you got me sprung with your tongue ring") to the sample of a Red Hot Chili Peppers song MUCH better than this one, "Butterfly" does nothing right. How did radio let a bunch of horny, crappy rappers go #1 when "One Step Closer" was stranded behind it?
|
|
Green Baron
Diamond Member
Banned
Why do I start what I can't finish?
|
Post by Green Baron on Sept 7, 2014 10:37:23 GMT -5
|
|
Cody
6x Platinum Member
Joined: August 2008
Posts: 6,692
|
Post by Cody on Sept 7, 2014 10:52:34 GMT -5
Already disagree, "Butterfly" is an ANTHEM. I love it, and I actually prefer it to "One Step Closer".
However, I can honestly to this day say that I don't know any other Crazy Town songs LOL. The ultimate, by the book one-hit wonders.
|
|
Deleted
Joined: January 1970
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Sept 7, 2014 11:14:15 GMT -5
don't tag me
|
|
Green Baron
Diamond Member
Banned
Why do I start what I can't finish?
|
Post by Green Baron on Sept 7, 2014 11:25:50 GMT -5
Already disagree, "Butterfly" is an ANTHEM. I love it, and I actually prefer it to "One Step Closer". However, I can honestly to this day say that I don't know any other Crazy Town songs LOL. The ultimate, by the book one-hit wonders. I can't listen to Butterfly without cringing. |
|
Lahey's Lucky Star
Diamond Member
Banned
You must be my lucky star
Joined: January 2014
Posts: 15,666
|
Post by Lahey's Lucky Star on Sept 7, 2014 11:43:22 GMT -5
The song is kinda meh, but first and foremost it was a multi-format smash. Did reach #1 on Billboard, but the fact that it reached #1 here and was blocked on Pop really surprises me.
|
|
Green Baron
Diamond Member
Banned
Why do I start what I can't finish?
|
Post by Green Baron on Sept 7, 2014 12:07:29 GMT -5
The song is kinda meh, but first and foremost it was a multi-format smash. Did reach #1 on Billboard, but the fact that it reached #1 here and was blocked on Pop really surprises me. It's one of eight songs to top both the Hot 100 and Alternative. |
|
|
|
Post by somelikeitwhen on Sept 7, 2014 19:00:50 GMT -5
This is my definition of a guilty pleasure. I also like how they actually make it about the girl without it being too much like Porn Star Dancing (sure they say she's hot, but it's mixed with genuine emotion). There's still a ton of bad lines (no one should ever compare their relationship with Sid and Nancy).
Did Nickelback ever have a #1 other than How You Remind Me?
|
|
Web
3x Platinum Member
Joined: January 2014
Posts: 3,985
|
Post by Web on Sept 7, 2014 20:05:29 GMT -5
wtf why is one of the band members wearing a DARE shirt? had never seen the music video before. completely neutral about the song though, it's not atrocious but I'd never listen to it on my own time.
|
|
Deleted
Joined: January 1970
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Sept 8, 2014 0:08:15 GMT -5
Just noticed this thread, thanks for the tag (I'm pretty inactive these days), will definitely be checking this out!
|
|
sadchild
2x Platinum Member
Catchy ≠ Good
Joined: December 2009
Posts: 2,575
|
Post by sadchild on Sept 8, 2014 6:55:55 GMT -5
"Butterfly" is one of those songs I like, but shouldn't. It's a bunch of corny cliche lyrics rapped with a phony attitude over a pretty little RHCP sample. But for some reason, I get into it. Same thing with their song "Only When I'm Drunk" which is a metalled-up cover of an Alkaholiks song. I shouldn't like it, but I do. And how the hell did they score getting a rap legend like KRS-One to join them on their frat-boy Licensed-To-Ill-wannabe jam "B-Boy 2000"? That's another one I shouldn't like, but do.
|
|
|
|
Post by somelikeitwhen on Sept 8, 2014 13:22:03 GMT -5
Crazy Town is one of those bands where I like one song by them and hate everything else (especially their turn to nu-metal in 2002). Puddle of Mudd is another example for me in which I haven't liked a single song from them since 2003.
|
|
Lordef†ones
6x Platinum Member
Let's drown underneath the stars
Joined: April 2013
Posts: 6,271
|
Post by Lordef†ones on Sept 8, 2014 15:23:24 GMT -5
Good start to this list. By that I mean this song is really awful. I'd honestly probably protest this charting on Alt today not just for being bad but for not being Alt. They look like something found in Sugar Ray's tour bus toilet. The lead singer makes Fred Durst look like the Dalai Llama.
Couple questions though. Will this be a daily thing? Also, please tell me you were joking about Ho Hey in the Top 30..
|
|
Green Baron
Diamond Member
Banned
Why do I start what I can't finish?
|
Post by Green Baron on Sept 8, 2014 21:18:40 GMT -5
315
PSYCHO
Puddle of Mudd
#1 for 2 weeks, 40 weeks on chart [2008]
Ugh. Many people point to 2008 as the complete nadir of the Alternative format, but that isn't completely true. Aside from some horrid #1s, there were actually some pretty great songs that did well that year, even if lots of crap also did chart (besides, it can't be any worse than 2013 or 2014, can it?). But 2008 also allowed Puddle of Mudd to grab their second #1 on the format, and this was after the album's lead single, "Famous", flopped and only peaked at #20. I'm all for more Active crossovers on the format, but my god, not when they're as horrible as this. Wes Scantlin was never a great vocalist, and "Psycho" is perhaps one of his worst performances ever. Aside from the horrible singing, generic instrumentation and repetitive lyrics, the music video pays homage to horror movies and it couldn't have been any more forced. A must avoid.
|
|
Green Baron
Diamond Member
Banned
Why do I start what I can't finish?
|
Post by Green Baron on Sept 8, 2014 21:25:40 GMT -5
314
HERO
Chad Kroeger feat. Josey Scott
#1 for 3 weeks, 21 weeks on chart [2002]
Spider-Man theme songs can either be hit or miss. "Vindicated" by Dashboard Confessional was the theme song for 2004's Spider-Man 2, and that's an example of a hit (too bad it only hit #2 on the Alternative chart). Meanwhile, Chad Kroeger's shlocky ode to Peter Parker is the very definition of miss. Featuring Josey Scott from fellow abominable post-grungers Saliva, "Hero" is plagued by vapid lyrics, horrendous vocals from Kroeger the Ogre himself and cheesy orchestral instrumentation. You know what would really be heroic? If I never have to hear this song ever again.
|
|
Lordef†ones
6x Platinum Member
Let's drown underneath the stars
Joined: April 2013
Posts: 6,271
|
Post by Lordef†ones on Sept 8, 2014 21:30:45 GMT -5
I actually used to like this song somewhat. I think when a friend of mine covered and completely blew Wes Scantlin out the water I realized it wasn't that good. Listening to it now, it's a lot worse than I remember it though.
"Hero" is kind of like a cheesy nostalgic feel though like Spider-Man. It's cheesy and not especially good but fond childhood memories come from it.
|
|
