Nicki Minaj - The Pinkprint
Nov 18, 2014 10:52:51 GMT -5
Post by think pink. on Nov 18, 2014 10:52:51 GMT -5
Itβs 2 a.m. and Nicki Minaj is curled up on a black leather couch in the green room of Hollywoodβs Siren Studios, exhausted from last nightβs recording session, which ended at 4 a.m., and todayβs 11-hour magazine shoot. The 31-year-old rapper and singer is de-glammed in a black turtleneck crop top, matching leggings, and fluffy duck slippers, her makeup wiped off and her natural hair pulled out from beneath the black bob wig she wore for the shoot.
Five years after signing with Lil Wayne on the strength of her street DVD freestyles; four years after becoming an international superstar off the bubblegum pop of βSuper Bassβ; two years after offending rap purists with βStarships,β Minaj is dropping her third studio album, The Pinkprint, this fall. Sheβs calling it her βmost personalβ album yet. Judging by her output over the past year, The Pinkprint will have a little of everything, meaning itβll be quintessential Nicki.
Last December, Minaj threw a couple of frenzied verses on βBoss Ass Bitch,β a viral YouTube hit by L.A. crunk girl group PTAF. While in βalbum mode,β she spent 2014 killing remixes to Young Thugβs βDanny Glover,β Rae Sremmurdβs βNo Flex Zone,β and, most notably, BeyoncΓ©βs βFlawless.β Thatβs on top of her own tracks βYasss Bish,β βChi-Raq,β and the cutthroat βLookinβ Ass.β Her most recent singlesβthe soft and reflective relationship song βPills N Potionsβ and the comically sexual βAnacondaββdisplay a versatility that, by now, feels like signature Nicki.
In August, after the MTV VMAs, when Nicki graced the red carpet without a wig or multicolored makeup or costume, the media dissected her aesthetic transition ad nauseum. Many said that her more natural look signaled the return of βMixtape Nicki.β Even Lil Wayne has specific expectations in the wake of whatβs been called βthe makeunderβ: βIβm looking forward to her going back to her rootsβbar for bar straight lyrical content,β he says. βThe last album showed her versatility, how she can make a straight hood/club banger and at the same time still be dominant in the pop industry. Now that she has tested the waters, sheβs going back to [what] she enjoyed best.β
But itβs more complicated than that. In 2012, Minaj canceled her appearance at Hot 97βs Summer Jam after its host, Peter Rosenberg, threw shade at βStarships,β calling it βbullshitβ that isnβt βreal hip-hop.β Nearly a year later, she appeared on Rosenbergβs radio show, and offered perhaps the most succinct explanation of her MO as an artist. βI wanted to experiment,β she said in the reconciliatory radio interview. βMy whole career has been a playing field for me to try new things. I never put a limit on myself. And I donβt like whenβespecially blackΒβwomen put a limit on what they can do.β
A lot of people think they know Nicki Minaj. In fact, they think they know a few Nicki Minajs: βMixtape Nicki,β βPop Nicki,β βDiva Nicki,β βTheatrical Nicki,β βFashion Nicki,β βAlter Ego Nicki a.k.a. Roman.β But βDead-Ass-Tired-Lying-on-a-Couch Nickiβ shows no sign of multiple personalities. Sheβs just one woman, albeit an incredibly busy one as she starts the promo campaign for her new album, and sees her sleep, personal, and family time vanish. Call her just Nicki.
As the night goes on, we talk about the misconceptions surrounding The Pinkprint, Nickiβs plans for making babies, and the guilt that comes with fame, but the interview doesnβt start well. She can barely keep her eyes open; her voice is soft and exasperated as she answers questions with her head tilted back, eyes half closed. But as soon as βMixtape Nickiβ is mentioned, she perks upβbecause no one is going to tell you what Nicki Minaj is doing except Nicki Minaj.
Whatβs behind your more natural look and your street singles reminiscent of earlier βMixtape Nickiβ?
I didnβt go back to βMixtape Nicki.β Thatβs how [members of the media] feel, but thatβs not what Iβve done. Iβve never stopped rapping; Iβve never stopped doing freestyles; Iβve never stopped doing remixes and features; Iβve never stopped raising the bar lyrically. I understand and respect peopleβs opinions when they hear me do certain things and say sheβs βgoing back,β but I havenβt gone back, Iβve moved forward. Iβve always been evolving.
Youβve said The Pinkprint will be your most personal album yet. What are you addressing about your past and present that you havenβt before?
My family, loss, death, guiltβ¦. Iβve struggled with a lot of guilt.
Guilt over what?
When youβre working and youβre busy and youβre successful, no matter what, something suffers, whether itβs your relationship with your mother, your relationship with your whole family, not being able to go to your brotherβs graduationβ¦. Certain things suffer and take the back burner, not because theyβre on the back burner in your heart but because the world just moves so quickly. A lot of people, when theyβre chasing their dreams, they have to leave people they love. A lot of artists feel that guilt but they donβt express it.
Your family is still in New York City?
Right, and I live in L.A., so when I wake up in the morning, I canβt just run across the street and hug my mother, hug my little brother, kiss my little brother or older brother. I have to get on a six-hour flight to see them, and then, even when I go to New York, Iβm lucky if I can see them for a couple hours. I go to New York all the time and Iβm so ashamed to say that I could be out there for a few days and not even be able to see my family because of my schedule. I donβt even get lunch penciled in my schedule. Sleep is out of the questionβeverything seems to become more important.
Has your relationship with your family suffered?
Yes, because I feel like Iβm the voice of reason in my family and Iβve always taken control and tried to lead and tried to be the one to help my family stay on the right path. When Iβm not there, and something doesnβt work out, I always think to myself, βIf I was there, this wouldnβt have happened.β
Despite your stardom, there are rarely paparazzi photos of you. You seem to have control over your image and personal life. Do you worry about losing privacy?
I worry to an extent. It doesnβt keep me up at night but I would be lying if I said that privacy isnβt important to me. Iβve always been like that. I give so much; I donβt curb myself in my music and I try my best to be straightforward when I do interviews. So, I do worry. What if I didnβt have something sacred? What if I wasnβt able to keep my secrets? How would that make me feel? Iβve always prided myself on not talking about certain things, holding certain things dear to my heart and leaving them just for me.
Jay Zβs The Blueprint inspired the title The Pinkprint and the idea of laying the blueprint for female rappers to come. What similarities do you see between you right now and Jay circa The Blueprint?
I canβt. I have no idea what he was doing before The Blueprint dropped. Itβs not that literal. People keep asking me about Jayβs The Blueprint and they think Iβm doing something like that. I made reference to The Blueprint because Jay is the biggest rapper of our time. The name of the album was inspired by Jay but not the body of work. I do think that itβs going to create new rules, though, in [the way] that [The Blueprint did].
What are your new rules?
One rule is βno more self-judgment.β Iβm not judging myself; Iβm not dissing what I do. Iβm proud of what Iβve done and Iβm proud of what Iβm working on. Iβve accomplished something and Iβm not going to be ashamed to be happy about what Iβve done. Iβm talking about things that I didnβt speak about on other albums. Itβs a truthful body of work. The album is me doing a press conference, addressing things and not putting too much [emphasis] on βThis has to be lyrical,β to the point where I lose focus of a message. Itβs important as a woman to be vulnerable and be strong at the same time. The album is a dope balance of vulnerability and strength, of inspiration and of not being politically correct. Itβs the best of both worlds. Itβs tapping into both sides. There are times when all I want to do is be lyrical and create metaphors and experiment with my flow. Then there are times when I just want to tell a truthful story about love and have people identify with me.
All women can relate to that.
Every woman is multifaceted. Every woman has a switch, whether sheβs going to be maternal, whether sheβs going to be a man-eater, whether she has to kick ass, whether she has to be one of the boys, whether she has to show the guys that sheβs just as smart or smarter, sheβs just as talented or creative. Women suppress a lot of their sides.
βPills N Potionsβ and βAnacondaβ showed two completely different sides of you.
Thereβs never been such a huge gap between two singles. I purposely did that because thatβs a representation of who I am. Iβve always been unpredictable. It keeps my fans guessing, and I love that.
Anyone whoβs been in an unhealthy relationship can relate to βPills N Potions.β
βPills N Potionsβ isnβt just about relationships. A couple of my girlfriends I hadnβt spoken to in a while reached out to me after they heard βPills N Potions.β That struck such a chord with people. The messageβwe still love [each other] but weβre angryβwe feel that way all the time, we just donβt say it. And a lot of times you donβt even get over that, you just have to keep it moving.
What did you want to accomplish with βAnacondaβ?
I wanted to create a song that embraced curvy women. I wanted to be sexual but be playful with it. And I wanted it to be so melodic that even if you donβt understand English you could still go along with the melody and you would have no idea about all the raunchy shit Iβm sayingβI get a kick out of that. It was simple to write. I just created the melody and then I let the words happen. I started laughing when I said, βBoy toy named Troy.β [Laughs.] That whole song, I was just being dumb. It was a joke. My biggest thing was seeing how my girlfriends Sherika and Thembi were going to react. If they donβt like a song, theyβll be like, βNo.β As soon as they walked in the studio, we were laughing and having fun. I thought, if weβre doing this, then everybody is going to have fun with it.
What did you want to do with the backshot artwork that caused such a frenzy?
The artwork was not premeditated. I was shooting the βAnacondaβ video and I had my photographer there taking pictures. When I was about to shoot my next scene, I asked to see the pictures heβd taken. He went through five or six and that one came up, and I was like, β[Gasps.] Oh my God. Yo, that picture is crazy!β What made me excited about it was that people hadnβt seen me do a picture like that in years. The reason why I stopped taking pictures like that was because I needed to prove myself. I needed for people to take me seriously. I needed for people to respect my craft. Iβve proven that Iβm an MC. Iβm a writer; Iβm the real deal, so if I want to take sexy pictures, I can. Iβm at the level in my career and in my life now where I can do whatever the hell I want to.
The video was equally jaw-dropping. Youβre twerking and a lot of dudes were probably watching, getting excitedβand then you have the banana-chopping scene. Pull them in, entice them, thenβ¦.
[Laughs.] Absolutely. Abso-freaking-lutely. Then at the end, when Drake is trying to touch me and Iβm slapping his hands awayβ¦. It was random and impromptu.
Drakeβin the friend zone forever.
[Laughs.] Oh, no.
But the last scene with him sitting in the chair, his sad face in his handsβ¦.
Itβs so cute. Heβs such a dope actor. After he did that we just busted out laughing and we all were cracking up. Heβs such a good sport. I love that he makes fun of himself and doesnβt take himself too seriously. Thatβs why my friendship with him works so well. Thatβs why I love him to death.
You faced a lot of backlash for the sexuality of the βAnacondaβ video and artwork. A dad even wrote an open letter to you about it. Whatβs your response?
βShut your stupid ass up. Bye, dad.β I laughed at it. But I also didnβt even know that that was happening.
Youβre on Twitter all the time. Do you read what blogs write about you?
Iβm not on blogs, so I didnβt know. People see me retweet stuff and they think Iβm some Internet person but Iβm not. A lot of times, with the controversy surrounding βLookinβ Ass,β for example, I didnβt know anything about it until it was so late it wouldβve been crazy for me to address it. Every now and then, people in my circle will say, βDid you know blah blah blah?β People on my team know I donβt want to hear any drama. I donβt want any negativity. I donβt want to hear whatβs on the blog. I donβt care.
Do you not care? Or are you pretending not to care?
I donβt care. I used to care, now I donβt care.
What made you stop caring?
The only thing I ever cared about was people questioning [my rapping], because I know that Iβm as authentic as they come when it comes to being a freaking MC. My first year in the game, I actually lost sleep over rumors, and then I realized, βWhat? This is entertainment.β These people will write anything about you to get attention and when youβre successful and famous, they know that when they say your name, people are going to click on the story. Now, to be completely honest, I donβt care. Sometimes if I hear something completely outrageous Iβll laugh, but no, the only thing I care about is my peace of mind, my well-being, my home, my family, the people I love, and the fact that Iβm continuing to be successful in my industry. Everything else comes with the territory. You just have to get in on the joke, thatβs what I realized.
Did Drake teach you that?
[Laughs.] Thatβs what Iβm saying. Youβve got to be in on it. It takes so much pressure off your life. I realize that a lot of times, people critique the people they love the most and feel the most attached to. Regular people donβt even realize how much artists mean to them. Artists represent a lot to the average person. People listen to music all day on their iPods, so as artists, we become a real fixture in peopleβs lives. As an artist, you canβt take it personal. Itβs like your big brother teasing you. As long as itβs not malicious. I havenβt had any issues lately and things have been good for the most part. When I do see things, people are saying good things like, βShe killed this verse.β Iβm happy that people push me to work hard, to be honest. Sometimes you need to be pushed in the right direction. Sometimes you need to be reminded, βHey! Look! [Snaps.] Youβre here for a reason. You got here by busting your ass. Donβt fail.β
In 2012, when you spoke with Miss Info for your last COMPLEX cover, you said, βIn five years, ideally, Iβd like to be married and have kids.β This year, you said that the end goal is to make $500 million and do five albums. Would you retire after five albums and just have a family?
Yeah. I wonβt use the word βretireβ but I would use the word βvacationββbecause I donβt believe in vacations, I donβt believe in holidays. I have to put out all six of my albums, contractually. After the fifth, Iβll probably have my baby. I wonder if Iβm going to be one of those women who balances my child with a career. I always said, βWhen I have my baby, itβs going to be all about my baby.β I donβt want the child feeling like they donβt have all of my attention, so I always said, βIβm going to take a little break.β But weβll see.
Whatβs your biggest fear?
That Iβll become so consumed with work that Iβll forget to live my personal life to the fullest. If Iβm done with my fifth album and I donβt have a child by then, no matter how much money I have, I would be disappointed, as a woman, because I feel like I was put here to be a mother. I have definitely put off the wife thing because I donβt want people in my business. Iβd rather not do anything thatβs going to be on paper but I definitely will be married before I have my baby. I want to make sure I do it in that order. Iβve always felt like that since I was young; my mother always put that in my head. By the fifth album, I will have walked down the aisle and I will at least be on baby number one, possibly baby number two. [Laughs.] And have $500 million.
Five years after signing with Lil Wayne on the strength of her street DVD freestyles; four years after becoming an international superstar off the bubblegum pop of βSuper Bassβ; two years after offending rap purists with βStarships,β Minaj is dropping her third studio album, The Pinkprint, this fall. Sheβs calling it her βmost personalβ album yet. Judging by her output over the past year, The Pinkprint will have a little of everything, meaning itβll be quintessential Nicki.
Last December, Minaj threw a couple of frenzied verses on βBoss Ass Bitch,β a viral YouTube hit by L.A. crunk girl group PTAF. While in βalbum mode,β she spent 2014 killing remixes to Young Thugβs βDanny Glover,β Rae Sremmurdβs βNo Flex Zone,β and, most notably, BeyoncΓ©βs βFlawless.β Thatβs on top of her own tracks βYasss Bish,β βChi-Raq,β and the cutthroat βLookinβ Ass.β Her most recent singlesβthe soft and reflective relationship song βPills N Potionsβ and the comically sexual βAnacondaββdisplay a versatility that, by now, feels like signature Nicki.
In August, after the MTV VMAs, when Nicki graced the red carpet without a wig or multicolored makeup or costume, the media dissected her aesthetic transition ad nauseum. Many said that her more natural look signaled the return of βMixtape Nicki.β Even Lil Wayne has specific expectations in the wake of whatβs been called βthe makeunderβ: βIβm looking forward to her going back to her rootsβbar for bar straight lyrical content,β he says. βThe last album showed her versatility, how she can make a straight hood/club banger and at the same time still be dominant in the pop industry. Now that she has tested the waters, sheβs going back to [what] she enjoyed best.β
But itβs more complicated than that. In 2012, Minaj canceled her appearance at Hot 97βs Summer Jam after its host, Peter Rosenberg, threw shade at βStarships,β calling it βbullshitβ that isnβt βreal hip-hop.β Nearly a year later, she appeared on Rosenbergβs radio show, and offered perhaps the most succinct explanation of her MO as an artist. βI wanted to experiment,β she said in the reconciliatory radio interview. βMy whole career has been a playing field for me to try new things. I never put a limit on myself. And I donβt like whenβespecially blackΒβwomen put a limit on what they can do.β
A lot of people think they know Nicki Minaj. In fact, they think they know a few Nicki Minajs: βMixtape Nicki,β βPop Nicki,β βDiva Nicki,β βTheatrical Nicki,β βFashion Nicki,β βAlter Ego Nicki a.k.a. Roman.β But βDead-Ass-Tired-Lying-on-a-Couch Nickiβ shows no sign of multiple personalities. Sheβs just one woman, albeit an incredibly busy one as she starts the promo campaign for her new album, and sees her sleep, personal, and family time vanish. Call her just Nicki.
As the night goes on, we talk about the misconceptions surrounding The Pinkprint, Nickiβs plans for making babies, and the guilt that comes with fame, but the interview doesnβt start well. She can barely keep her eyes open; her voice is soft and exasperated as she answers questions with her head tilted back, eyes half closed. But as soon as βMixtape Nickiβ is mentioned, she perks upβbecause no one is going to tell you what Nicki Minaj is doing except Nicki Minaj.
Whatβs behind your more natural look and your street singles reminiscent of earlier βMixtape Nickiβ?
I didnβt go back to βMixtape Nicki.β Thatβs how [members of the media] feel, but thatβs not what Iβve done. Iβve never stopped rapping; Iβve never stopped doing freestyles; Iβve never stopped doing remixes and features; Iβve never stopped raising the bar lyrically. I understand and respect peopleβs opinions when they hear me do certain things and say sheβs βgoing back,β but I havenβt gone back, Iβve moved forward. Iβve always been evolving.
Youβve said The Pinkprint will be your most personal album yet. What are you addressing about your past and present that you havenβt before?
My family, loss, death, guiltβ¦. Iβve struggled with a lot of guilt.
Guilt over what?
When youβre working and youβre busy and youβre successful, no matter what, something suffers, whether itβs your relationship with your mother, your relationship with your whole family, not being able to go to your brotherβs graduationβ¦. Certain things suffer and take the back burner, not because theyβre on the back burner in your heart but because the world just moves so quickly. A lot of people, when theyβre chasing their dreams, they have to leave people they love. A lot of artists feel that guilt but they donβt express it.
Your family is still in New York City?
Right, and I live in L.A., so when I wake up in the morning, I canβt just run across the street and hug my mother, hug my little brother, kiss my little brother or older brother. I have to get on a six-hour flight to see them, and then, even when I go to New York, Iβm lucky if I can see them for a couple hours. I go to New York all the time and Iβm so ashamed to say that I could be out there for a few days and not even be able to see my family because of my schedule. I donβt even get lunch penciled in my schedule. Sleep is out of the questionβeverything seems to become more important.
Has your relationship with your family suffered?
Yes, because I feel like Iβm the voice of reason in my family and Iβve always taken control and tried to lead and tried to be the one to help my family stay on the right path. When Iβm not there, and something doesnβt work out, I always think to myself, βIf I was there, this wouldnβt have happened.β
Despite your stardom, there are rarely paparazzi photos of you. You seem to have control over your image and personal life. Do you worry about losing privacy?
I worry to an extent. It doesnβt keep me up at night but I would be lying if I said that privacy isnβt important to me. Iβve always been like that. I give so much; I donβt curb myself in my music and I try my best to be straightforward when I do interviews. So, I do worry. What if I didnβt have something sacred? What if I wasnβt able to keep my secrets? How would that make me feel? Iβve always prided myself on not talking about certain things, holding certain things dear to my heart and leaving them just for me.
Jay Zβs The Blueprint inspired the title The Pinkprint and the idea of laying the blueprint for female rappers to come. What similarities do you see between you right now and Jay circa The Blueprint?
I canβt. I have no idea what he was doing before The Blueprint dropped. Itβs not that literal. People keep asking me about Jayβs The Blueprint and they think Iβm doing something like that. I made reference to The Blueprint because Jay is the biggest rapper of our time. The name of the album was inspired by Jay but not the body of work. I do think that itβs going to create new rules, though, in [the way] that [The Blueprint did].
What are your new rules?
One rule is βno more self-judgment.β Iβm not judging myself; Iβm not dissing what I do. Iβm proud of what Iβve done and Iβm proud of what Iβm working on. Iβve accomplished something and Iβm not going to be ashamed to be happy about what Iβve done. Iβm talking about things that I didnβt speak about on other albums. Itβs a truthful body of work. The album is me doing a press conference, addressing things and not putting too much [emphasis] on βThis has to be lyrical,β to the point where I lose focus of a message. Itβs important as a woman to be vulnerable and be strong at the same time. The album is a dope balance of vulnerability and strength, of inspiration and of not being politically correct. Itβs the best of both worlds. Itβs tapping into both sides. There are times when all I want to do is be lyrical and create metaphors and experiment with my flow. Then there are times when I just want to tell a truthful story about love and have people identify with me.
All women can relate to that.
Every woman is multifaceted. Every woman has a switch, whether sheβs going to be maternal, whether sheβs going to be a man-eater, whether she has to kick ass, whether she has to be one of the boys, whether she has to show the guys that sheβs just as smart or smarter, sheβs just as talented or creative. Women suppress a lot of their sides.
βPills N Potionsβ and βAnacondaβ showed two completely different sides of you.
Thereβs never been such a huge gap between two singles. I purposely did that because thatβs a representation of who I am. Iβve always been unpredictable. It keeps my fans guessing, and I love that.
Anyone whoβs been in an unhealthy relationship can relate to βPills N Potions.β
βPills N Potionsβ isnβt just about relationships. A couple of my girlfriends I hadnβt spoken to in a while reached out to me after they heard βPills N Potions.β That struck such a chord with people. The messageβwe still love [each other] but weβre angryβwe feel that way all the time, we just donβt say it. And a lot of times you donβt even get over that, you just have to keep it moving.
What did you want to accomplish with βAnacondaβ?
I wanted to create a song that embraced curvy women. I wanted to be sexual but be playful with it. And I wanted it to be so melodic that even if you donβt understand English you could still go along with the melody and you would have no idea about all the raunchy shit Iβm sayingβI get a kick out of that. It was simple to write. I just created the melody and then I let the words happen. I started laughing when I said, βBoy toy named Troy.β [Laughs.] That whole song, I was just being dumb. It was a joke. My biggest thing was seeing how my girlfriends Sherika and Thembi were going to react. If they donβt like a song, theyβll be like, βNo.β As soon as they walked in the studio, we were laughing and having fun. I thought, if weβre doing this, then everybody is going to have fun with it.
What did you want to do with the backshot artwork that caused such a frenzy?
The artwork was not premeditated. I was shooting the βAnacondaβ video and I had my photographer there taking pictures. When I was about to shoot my next scene, I asked to see the pictures heβd taken. He went through five or six and that one came up, and I was like, β[Gasps.] Oh my God. Yo, that picture is crazy!β What made me excited about it was that people hadnβt seen me do a picture like that in years. The reason why I stopped taking pictures like that was because I needed to prove myself. I needed for people to take me seriously. I needed for people to respect my craft. Iβve proven that Iβm an MC. Iβm a writer; Iβm the real deal, so if I want to take sexy pictures, I can. Iβm at the level in my career and in my life now where I can do whatever the hell I want to.
The video was equally jaw-dropping. Youβre twerking and a lot of dudes were probably watching, getting excitedβand then you have the banana-chopping scene. Pull them in, entice them, thenβ¦.
[Laughs.] Absolutely. Abso-freaking-lutely. Then at the end, when Drake is trying to touch me and Iβm slapping his hands awayβ¦. It was random and impromptu.
Drakeβin the friend zone forever.
[Laughs.] Oh, no.
But the last scene with him sitting in the chair, his sad face in his handsβ¦.
Itβs so cute. Heβs such a dope actor. After he did that we just busted out laughing and we all were cracking up. Heβs such a good sport. I love that he makes fun of himself and doesnβt take himself too seriously. Thatβs why my friendship with him works so well. Thatβs why I love him to death.
You faced a lot of backlash for the sexuality of the βAnacondaβ video and artwork. A dad even wrote an open letter to you about it. Whatβs your response?
βShut your stupid ass up. Bye, dad.β I laughed at it. But I also didnβt even know that that was happening.
Youβre on Twitter all the time. Do you read what blogs write about you?
Iβm not on blogs, so I didnβt know. People see me retweet stuff and they think Iβm some Internet person but Iβm not. A lot of times, with the controversy surrounding βLookinβ Ass,β for example, I didnβt know anything about it until it was so late it wouldβve been crazy for me to address it. Every now and then, people in my circle will say, βDid you know blah blah blah?β People on my team know I donβt want to hear any drama. I donβt want any negativity. I donβt want to hear whatβs on the blog. I donβt care.
Do you not care? Or are you pretending not to care?
I donβt care. I used to care, now I donβt care.
What made you stop caring?
The only thing I ever cared about was people questioning [my rapping], because I know that Iβm as authentic as they come when it comes to being a freaking MC. My first year in the game, I actually lost sleep over rumors, and then I realized, βWhat? This is entertainment.β These people will write anything about you to get attention and when youβre successful and famous, they know that when they say your name, people are going to click on the story. Now, to be completely honest, I donβt care. Sometimes if I hear something completely outrageous Iβll laugh, but no, the only thing I care about is my peace of mind, my well-being, my home, my family, the people I love, and the fact that Iβm continuing to be successful in my industry. Everything else comes with the territory. You just have to get in on the joke, thatβs what I realized.
Did Drake teach you that?
[Laughs.] Thatβs what Iβm saying. Youβve got to be in on it. It takes so much pressure off your life. I realize that a lot of times, people critique the people they love the most and feel the most attached to. Regular people donβt even realize how much artists mean to them. Artists represent a lot to the average person. People listen to music all day on their iPods, so as artists, we become a real fixture in peopleβs lives. As an artist, you canβt take it personal. Itβs like your big brother teasing you. As long as itβs not malicious. I havenβt had any issues lately and things have been good for the most part. When I do see things, people are saying good things like, βShe killed this verse.β Iβm happy that people push me to work hard, to be honest. Sometimes you need to be pushed in the right direction. Sometimes you need to be reminded, βHey! Look! [Snaps.] Youβre here for a reason. You got here by busting your ass. Donβt fail.β
In 2012, when you spoke with Miss Info for your last COMPLEX cover, you said, βIn five years, ideally, Iβd like to be married and have kids.β This year, you said that the end goal is to make $500 million and do five albums. Would you retire after five albums and just have a family?
Yeah. I wonβt use the word βretireβ but I would use the word βvacationββbecause I donβt believe in vacations, I donβt believe in holidays. I have to put out all six of my albums, contractually. After the fifth, Iβll probably have my baby. I wonder if Iβm going to be one of those women who balances my child with a career. I always said, βWhen I have my baby, itβs going to be all about my baby.β I donβt want the child feeling like they donβt have all of my attention, so I always said, βIβm going to take a little break.β But weβll see.
Whatβs your biggest fear?
That Iβll become so consumed with work that Iβll forget to live my personal life to the fullest. If Iβm done with my fifth album and I donβt have a child by then, no matter how much money I have, I would be disappointed, as a woman, because I feel like I was put here to be a mother. I have definitely put off the wife thing because I donβt want people in my business. Iβd rather not do anything thatβs going to be on paper but I definitely will be married before I have my baby. I want to make sure I do it in that order. Iβve always felt like that since I was young; my mother always put that in my head. By the fifth album, I will have walked down the aisle and I will at least be on baby number one, possibly baby number two. [Laughs.] And have $500 million.