Tanooki Reviews

[tanooki]

thread for any bad opinion i have

[tanooki]

Kodak Black - ZEZE


For some reason, it seems that summer 2018 has come a couple months late. With tropical, summer-sounding songs like MIA and Taki Taki, it really feels like July despite the fact that there's already snow outside my window. Yet, one song in particular interests me - ZEZE. 6ix9ine already dropped a followup to STOOPID? Are we getting a second mixtape soon? Well, no. ZEZE is actually a track by Travis Scott, Offset, and.... Kodak Black? I did not expect the same guy who wrote "Tunnel Vision" to have a top 2 debut but...okay? Maybe I'm just exaggerating a little, but on with the song.



The track starts off with the most tropical instrument in human history, the steel pan. According to Wikipedia, its actually a "zeze", an African string instrument. It sounds like a steel pan but whatever. The first couple seconds with just the ste..I mean zeze sounds pretty nice and the rests actually make a decent buildup. Then, Travis does his thing. I love Travis Scott and he rides this beat hard. The flexing sounds great and the way he rides this beat is almost magical. I love his chorus, it flows so smoothly. Travis just does this beat well and honestly, my favorite Travis guest appearance.



Offset doing his thing in his verse is just fine, but I feel like he could've had a faster flow. His verse is alright, but a more speedy flow could've been better. It's not like he can't pull off some quick bars, he's done it before. His verse is just a little too sparse for me. The beat is decent, but its not good enough for you to have pauses in your rap. Some of his lyrics are kinda strange as well, especially the part where he compares himself to Gaddafi. I mean, I get what you're trying to say, but comparing yourself to dictators wouldn't exactly go well in certain places. I'm sure the people of Libya love this track.



I saved the best (just kidding) for last: Kodak Black. Now, I'm open to Kodak Black. I understand the legal issues that might turn people off, but I'm one to separate art from the artist. My biggest issue with Kodak is that he just can't use his voice correctly. Look, his voice is terrible, but with the right melody and beat, it works. Does it work here? Oh hell no. Kodak destroys this song. I don't know if that's JUST his voice or if the production is off, but it sounds like he was recorded via McDonalds drive-thru. His voice sounds like I'm watching a movie from the 1940s. It's genuinely out of place with the rest of the rappers. Come on Kodak, get a better mic. You're probably a millionaire, you can afford a microphone better than an old iPod. Disgusting.





Overall, I give the song a 6.5/10. Decent beat, great Travis hook, decent Offset verse, and a terrible Kodak performance. Would I recommend? Yeah. If you like rap, I'd say check it out.

[tanooki]

WORST songs of the year (based on year end chart)

10. Zedd, Marren Morris, Grey - The Middle

Big fat yikes on this. I didn't know that the word "corporate" was a genre until I heard this. Marren Morris sounds terrible, the whole song is a retread of Stay, and its lyrical content is as bland as unseasoned chicken.


9. Florida Georgia Line - Simple

The future is now old man, and your attempts to sound more "rootsy" are just awful. FGL are a bad duo and this song is bad. It sounds like the ramblings of an annoying old guy who sits on the couch watching Fox News in the nursing home. Yaaaawn.


8. Cardi B ft. 21 Savage - Bartier Cardi

I actually really enjoy Bodak Yellow and to see this as the follow up single makes me depressed. Some of the shit that Cardi says *cough cough put the pussy on Offset cough cough* is fucking atrocious and 21 Savage is...oh yeah he's on here not like I remembered lmao

7. MAX ft. gnash - Lights Down Low

This song should be banned from radio because its so boring it puts people (who need to be driving) to sleep, causing car crashes and deaths all over the nation. It's such a snoozefest.

6. Imagine Dragons - Thunder

Annoying ass vocals from both the frontman and the chipmunks in the chorus. Car commercial music supreme 

5. Maroon 5 - Wait

Exact same reason as Lights Down Low yet everything is more annoying.

4. Maroon 5 ft. SZA - What Lovers Do

I don't like royalty-free music. I like National Geographic but I don't watch it for the goofy ass music. Also fuck Adam Levine

3. Cardi B - Be Careful

Big fat yikes. Although the beat is fine, it sounds like it was made in five seconds AND it sounds a lot like Japan from Famous Dex. Cardi's flow is absolute dogshit, I'd take 6ix9ine screaming his guts out over whatever the fuck this is. Also, BIG fat yikes at these lyrics. It's vague enough for me not to be too pissed, but this is some pretty toxic shit. I don't enjoy hearing about wanting to hurt someone because they liked a picture or didn't text back. Fuck anyone who supports this song but wants to talk about X.

2. Camila Cabello - Never Be the Same

nicoteeeeen, heroeeeeen, morpheeeeeeeen jesus fucking christ thats some horrible singing also what the fuck is heroween that forced rhyme is...really really bad.

Dishonorable Mentions: Let You Down, Him & I, FRIENDS, No Brainer, I Like It

1. Maroon 5 ft. Cardi B - Girls Like You
Pure garbage. Pure laziness. This song has nothing going for it, it deserved none of its success, its a boring nightmare that shits all over the idea of songwriting. Fuck Adam Levine