Tanooki's Ranking of the 2010s Decade-End List

[tanooki]

Hey, everyone! I'm not that great of a writer but as one of the decade end predictors, I became pretty familiar with these songs and figured I would take shot at reviewing. So let's get it. 


Starting with...

[tanooki]

100. Maroon 5 ft. Cardi B - Girls Like You
Decade-End Ranking: 5
My Rating: 0.06


This song is absolutely fucking atrocious. I hate it. I hate it so much. This boring ass, whiny ass, off-key ass, off beat, piece of shit radio filler was #1 for seven goddamn weeks? From the super lazy and terrible muted guitar riff to the boring and generic synth trying to make emotion, it's just all around terrible. Adam Levine can't sing for shit, some inflection or dynamic could've made it a little bit better but no, Adam can't even do that. It's a droning, monotone mess. Cardi B's verse isn't the worst thing in the world, it's just really out of place. Cardi B is the type of artist to have a really booming, in your face beat to back up her rapping, this terrible instrumental does not work AT ALL. Fuck this song.

[tanooki]

99. Train - Hey, Soul Sister
Decade-End Ranking: 55
My Rating: 0.42

I forgot what the dude from Train's name is but oh my god his voice is terrible. It's just awful. This is the kind of shit that is illegal to use on prisoner of wars. Ukuleles are usually cool but it just sounds terrible on this. It's bad. Like, really bad. It's a pretty simple instrument but they could've done more with it than the simplest chords you could find. The drum beat is boring and artificial guitars don't make the song more exciting. Puke.