Post by ramona wants sleep on Nov 10, 2019 18:21:37 GMT -5
2018 was,,,a year. Not great, not the worst. Despite that there were some high points but they were nowhere near as high as the lows were low. There were some wretched songs this year that can just go away forever. Here are the 10 worst of them.
Dishonorable Mentions: -Back To You - Selena Gomez (Peak: #18, YE: #41) I really don’t like this song and I can’t really figure out why -God is a woman - Ariana Grande (Peak: #8, YE: #62) An uncomfortable mess of a track that really doesn’t play to Ariana’s strengths -Him & I - G-Eazy, Halsey (Peak: #14, YE: #45) The musical equivalent of 2016’s Suicide Squad -Wait - Maroon 5 (Peak: #24, YE: #58) Levine’s falsetto still sounds awful and the entire song just sounds really unpleasant -Gucci Gang - Lil Pump (Peak #3, YE: #44) Completely incompetent in every way, but the fun kind of terrible that makes me happy rather than angry. -Never Be The Same - Camila Cabello (Peak #6, YE: #18) The ear-splitting pre-chorus. The rest of the song is alright though -Nonstop - Drake (Peak: #2, YE: #52) Lazy and boring. -I’m Upset - Drake (Peak: #7, YE: #86) As lazy and boring as Nonstop but this time Drake whines about how people doesn’t like him and brags about how his dad withheld child support.
Onto the actual list!
10. SAD! - (Peak #1, YE: #17) This one’s gonna be brief. The line about killing yourself if your girlfriend tried to leave sours the rest of this pretty decent song, albeit a repetitive and poorly structured one. I’ll continue this later though.
9. Meant To Be - Bebe Rexha, Florida Georgia Line (Peak: #2, YE: #3) This is the biggest country song of all time. Why? This beat is literally just basic piano keys and trap skitters. FGL are void of almost any charisma they might’ve had. Bebe Rexha is as bland as always. The lyrics are the most formulaic string of lines ever conceived. And on top of it all the bridge completely negates the entire rest of the song.
8. Friends - Marshmello, Anne-Marie (Peak #11, YE: #26) Why was this needed. We don’t need a friendzone anthem. It’s an uncomfortable thing for literally every party involved. That alone is a bad start but when it’s mixed with Anne-Marie’s incredibly fake accent, the choppy but easily fixable sentences (“Don’t go look at me with that look in your eyes” -> “Don’t you look at me with that look in your eyes”) and the awful musical choices on Marshmello’s part it’s just a disaster all the way through...but even after saying all that, this is my biggest guilty pleasure of the year. I love this song despite it being a train wreck in every capacity. That hook is too catchy for me to resist. I’m sorry everyone I have failed you.
7. Changes - XXXTentacion (Peak: #18, YE: #94) Does this even count as a song? Is this a finished product? There’s close to no instrumentation. It’s incredibly repetitive and there’s only 5 lines. I’ve heard demos with more to them than this. Why did people stream this enough for it to go double platinum? Did he not have any better songs to mourn him with? This rant has more words than this song.
6. Yes Indeed - Lil Baby, Drake (Peak: #6, YE: #25) By god we did it. We found it. The most generic trap song in existence. This is Gucci Gang without the fun. Drake sounds bored as hell and this beat gets tiring and annoying after like 30 seconds. Lil Baby is the most unremarkable trap artist I’ve ever heard. He has no personality, chooses the most basic rhymes possible (peak at you, Pikachu), and seems to have written almost nothing for the song. Drake takes up a minute, then Lil Baby does the short hook, drops a short verse, does the hook again, starts another verse, abandons it and tacks it onto the last hook, then the instrumental plays out the next 30 seconds. The song is barely two and a half minutes. He did nothing. C minus for effort.
5. FEFE - 6ix9ine, Nicki Minaj, Murda Beats (Peak #3, YE: #31) Ew ew ew I don’t like ASMR 6ix9ine. Murda Beats and Nicki are both on autopilot and the entire song gives off such a gross vibe. It feels incredibly claustrophobic especially considering who 6ix9ine is. This was certified 8x Platinum. Nicki, you can do better. Murda, you can also do better. 6ix9ine, stop making music.
4. GUMMO - 6ix9ine (Peak: #12, YE: #56) There’s way too much to unpack here. 6ix9ine’s yelling is admittedly better than his “sensual” side but I still don’t like it. He raps like he robbed a bank full of N-word passes. The punchlines sound like they were written by a middle schooler but specifically that one middle schooler that would laugh when anything related to sex was said. Every class had one. Bud what makes this worse than FEFE, which has most of these problems as well, is the possible reference to the crime that made 6ix9ine infamous right at the end of the first verse. 6ix9ine can rot in jail
3. Te Botè - Nio Garcia, Casper Mágico, Bad Bunny, Darell, Ozuna, Nicky Jam (this is way too many people on one song just establish a supergroup or something) (Peak: #36, YE: #81) This was the longest seven minutes of my life. The beat is one of the most uninspired and generic I’ve ever heard and it’s somehow still a ripoff of French Montana’s Unforgettable. How uncreative and boring must you be that you ripoff French Montana, the most forgettable rapper working. The hook is so annoying, Ozuna needs to stop the elongated syllables because it’s not working. And all of verses are boring, every artist gets a minute long verse, each worse and more punchable than the last. This is the reason posse cuts shouldn’t chart.
2. Girls Like You - Maroon 5, Cardi B (Peak: #1, YE: #10) Maroon 5 blows, to the surprise of no one. This is the most bland, drab, boring, uncreative, uninspired, tedious, dull, monotonous, any other word along those lines, song I’ve ever heard. The lyrics are literally just a set of relationship buzzwords. The guitar playing is scratchy and the percussion just sounds like someone needs to turn the faucet all the way off because it’s still dripping. Cardi’s verse is the only positive aspect and she’s still just on autopilot trying to get a paycheck. And naturally, this is one of the biggest songs of the decade. The Super Bowl should’ve killed Maroon 5, but alas, they’ve been dead sense Moves Like Jagger
And at last, number 1 1. Freaky Friday - Lil Dicky, Chris Brown (Peak #8, YE: #55) We didn’t need this. We didn’t need a song glorifying one of the worst artists in music, both artistically and as a person. But Lil Dicky decided otherwise. We didn’t need to reference what he did. But Lil Dicky decided otherwise. We didn’t need to make it a joke. But Lil Dicky decided otherwise. If we’re gonna make a comedy song about it, we did need to make it funny. But Lil Dicky decided otherwise. The beat is stiff and lifeless as well. The Ed Sheeran joke got a cheap laugh out of me and the DJ Khaled joke was the only good joke of the song, but then Kendall Jenner immediately erased any good will I had towards this song with that final joke, one of the worst endings I’ve ever heard to a song. This is a song that’s terrible in concept and even worse in execution.
So that’s my worst of 2018, hope you enjoyed! Best of 2018 will be as soon as I can
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