AZ HAS BEEN FUCKED BY EVERYONE FROM A TO ZIt seems like just yesterday you were celebrating the new year, but now it’s time to move on from the past and look to the future. It’s early 2016, and that means the road to the next presidential election is already starting to heat up. The recent murders of several candidates and their supporters, from all sides of the election, have all the leading candidates and their top supporters, those still alive, working together to find the murderers. You are one of the few former presidents still alive. For this reason, your political endorsement is widely coveted. Given that your wife is a widely rumoured candidate to run, your endorsement is likely already taken. Regardless, you’re still viewed as one of the most influential people in the election, as you were in the last few elections. To ensure the continuation of a true democracy, you must help find those who are committing the murders and stop them, no matter what the cost.
Role: Bill Clinton,
Town CopAbilities: Each night you may send me the command
Cop: NAME. You will be told if the targeted player is
Town OR
Non-Town. You may not target yourself. You may elect to use the command
Cop: No Target. Your sanity is guaranteed.
Win Condition: You win once all threats to the town are eliminated.
CODEX GERGULLZ CUM AND JIZZ ALL NIGHT LONGERIt seems like just yesterday you were celebrating the new year, but now it’s time to move on from the past and look to the future. It’s early 2016, and that means the road to the next presidential election is already starting to heat up. The recent murders of several candidates and their supporters, from all sides of the election, have all the leading candidates and their top supporters, those still alive, working together to find the murderers. You need no introduction. You are The Queen. Her Majesty. Informal ruler of many countries, including the United Kingdom, Australia, New Zealand, Canada, Jamaica, and many others. However, that is not enough for you. You want to add the United States to your collection. Better yet, you want your rule over those countries to be formal, and have actual legal authority, like a true queen would have. To accomplish these goals, you have teamed up with a group of people, each with their own goals, to murder the competition and top supporters of the US presidential election. By killing off the competition, you can throw the country into chaos, and offer to step in as a temporary leader. This would then turn into a rule for life, give you true political power, and your power would just continue to grow. Maybe you could even take over the whole world. You ARE The Queen, after all.
Role: Queen Elizabeth II,
Mafia Usurper NinjaPartners: Nightfire,
Hillary Clinton,
Mafia Godfather &
Slizzard,
Mitt Romney,
Mafia Jester Politician &
Heartbreak,
Michael Bloomberg,
Mafia Voteless GodfatherAbilities: You are able to communicate with your partners at all times in the following QuickTopic:
www.quicktopic.com/50/H/r4hDn67XSuB . If all but one of you are killed, the quicktopic will be locked and you will no longer be able to privately communicate; once any single player is killed that player will no longer be able to communicate in the QuickTopic. During each night phase any of you, unless dead, may PM me with the command
Murder: NAME. That player will be targeted with a lethal action by the mafia in the night phase. You show up as the equivalent of
Vanilla Town for all investigations of your movement at Night.
Win Condition: You win once your faction has an undeniable majority rule over all others or nothing can prevent this. However, you only win if both the
Mafia Godfather and
Mafia Voteless Godfather are dead at the end of the game. They are not told of this and are told that your role is
Mafia Ninja.
It seems like just yesterday you were celebrating the new year, but now it’s time to move on from the past and look to the future. It’s early 2016, and that means the road to the next presidential election is already starting to heat up. The recent murders of several candidates and their supporters, from all sides of the election, have all the leading candidates and their top supporters, those still alive, working together to find the murderers. You are the wife of former presidential candidate Mitt Romney. He lost the election in 2012, but you hold no grudges. You made you mark in his candidacy, and so your political endorsement is among the most coveted. For this reason, you are a top target of the group of murderers, and you must try your hardest to stop them before they kill everyone.
Role: Ann Romney,
Town CopAbilities: Each night you may send me the command
Cop: NAME. You will be told if the targeted player is
Town OR
Non-Town. You may not target yourself. You may elect to use the command
Cop: No Target. Your sanity is guaranteed.
Win Condition: You win once all threats to the town are eliminated.
CUNTHIA ROSENHOOKER NEEDS A PUNT TO THE CUNT IMO TBHIt seems like just yesterday you were celebrating the new year, but now it’s time to move on from the past and look to the future. It’s early 2016, and that means the road to the next presidential election is already starting to heat up. The recent murders of several candidates and their supporters, from all sides of the election, have all the leading candidates and their top supporters, those still alive, working together to find the murderers. You are one of the few former presidents who are still alive. This makes your political endorsement one of the most coveted. For this reason, you are one of the main targets of the group responsible for the recent murders. It is up to you to discover who the true murderers are, and stop them, to prevent America from falling into ruin.
Role: George W. Bush,
Town ReporterAbilities: Each night you may send me the command
Document: NAME. You will be told if the targeted player was
Home OR
Not Home. You may not target yourself. You may elect to use the command
Document: No Target.
Win Condition: You win once all threats to the town are eliminated.
SOMEONE FAGDRAG THIS BITCH THROUGH THE DIRT PLZIt seems like just yesterday you were celebrating the new year, but now it’s time to move on from the past and look to the future. It’s early 2016, and that means the road to the next presidential election is already starting to heat up. The recent murders of several candidates and their supporters, from all sides of the election, have all the leading candidates and their top supporters, those still alive, working together to find the murderers. You are the current Vice President. Nothing is stopping you from running for the big spot this year. Since you haven’t publicly denied running, you are clearly a huge target. Not only could you be competition for the top spot, but even if you choose not to run, your political endorsement would be a huge deal. It is up to you to find the murderers and prevent them from murdering even more people. The future of America hangs in the balance.
Role: Joe Biden,
Town Lover CopPartner: Ry4nAbilities: Each night you may send me the command
Cop: NAME. You will be told if the targeted player is
Town OR
Non-Town. You may not target yourself. You may elect to use the command
Cop: No Target. Your sanity is guaranteed. If your partner dies, you will die. If you die, your partner will die. You cannot communicate with your partner outside of the game thread and do not know your partner's role or alignment, but your wife said he's probably a
Werewolf.
Win Condition: You win once all threats to the town are eliminated.
FUCKING COLDHEARTED HEARTBREAKER EATS CAKES ALONE ALL NIGHT AND CRIESIt seems like just yesterday you were celebrating the new year, but now it’s time to move on from the past and look to the future. It’s early 2016, and that means the road to the next presidential election is already starting to heat up. The recent murders of several candidates and their supporters, from all sides of the election, have all the leading candidates and their top supporters, those still alive, working together to find the murderers. You are the current mayor of New York City, the US’s biggest, most populated city. You rule over more people than there are total in each of the least populated 39 states. You rule over more people than the least populated 10 states combined. Yet you have much less power than a governor. It is extremely unfair and biased, and so for this reason you have decided to run for president. You have made so many significant changes to NYC over the years that you inherently are deserving of the title. Yet, many people, those same people who think you deserve less power than a governor regardless of the reasons above, don’t think you would make a good president. You have joined together with a group of people, all with your own reasons, to murder your competition and their top supporters. This will pave your path to the presidency, as the citizens of America are lead to your feet to beg.
Role: Michael Bloomberg,
Mafia Voteless GodfatherPartners: Nightfire,
Hillary Clinton,
Mafia Godfather &
Codex,
Queen Elizabeth II,
Mafia Ninja &
Slizzard,
Mitt Romney,
Mafia Jester PoliticianAbilities: You are able to communicate with your partners at all times in the following QuickTopic:
www.quicktopic.com/50/H/r4hDn67XSuB . If all but one of you are killed, the quicktopic will be locked and you will no longer be able to privately communicate; once any single player is killed that player will no longer be able to communicate in the QuickTopic. During each night phase any of you, unless dead, may PM me with the command
Murder: NAME. That player will be targeted with a lethal action by the mafia in the night phase. You show up as the equivalent of
Town for all investigations of your alignment. You have no vote.
Win Condition: You win once your faction has an undeniable majority rule over all others or nothing can prevent this.
It seems like just yesterday you were celebrating the new year, but now it’s time to move on from the past and look to the future. It’s early 2016, and that means the road to the next presidential election is already starting to heat up. The recent murders of several candidates and their supporters, from all sides of the election, have all the leading candidates and their top supporters, those still alive, working together to find the murderers. You are a former congressman serving Texas, and a former candidate for the presidency, multiple times. You are running yet again this time, so you are being targeted for murder. You must keep Americans’ liberties and rights safe, and stop these murderers before they can cause too much damage and destruction.
Role: Ron Paul,
Town DoctorAbilities: Each night you may send me the command
Protect: NAME. One lethal action targeting this player will fail, however you will not be notified whether this was successful or not. You may not target yourself. You may elect to use the command
Protect: No Target.
Win Condition: You win once all threats to the town are eliminated.
JBUTT IS PREGNANT WITH BREEZY'S CRACK BABYIt seems like just yesterday you were celebrating the new year, but now it’s time to move on from the past and look to the future. It’s early 2016, and that means the road to the next presidential election is already starting to heat up. The recent murders of several candidates and their supporters, from all sides of the election, have all the leading candidates and their top supporters, those still alive, working together to find the murderers. You are dead. Or so the world thinks. You’ve really been testing your country, your son, and the world. Your country wept at your death; your son has yelled at the Americans; the world has yelled at your country. Your country and son passed your test, but the world did not, however it was not surprising. With the US presidential election approaching, you know that no candidate is suitable for the position, so you don’t care enough to kill any of them. However, when your existence is shown to the world, you will immediately be a top priority kill of the group making these murders. As poorly as the world views you, your endorsement of any candidate would be detrimental to them in the election, so the group wants to make sure you do not accidentally endorse a preferred candidate of theirs. It is up to you to cooperate and help stop this murderous group.
Role: Kim Jong-il,
Village IdiotAbilities: You're really just a
Vanilla Townie and your only powers are your voice and your vote. But you also carry the title of
Village Idiot shamefully.
Win Condition: You win once all threats to the town are eliminated.
KRHAZY KATZ NEEDS TO LAY OFF THE KATNIPIt seems like just yesterday you were celebrating the new year, but now it’s time to move on from the past and look to the future. It’s early 2016, and that means the road to the next presidential election is already starting to heat up. The recent murders of several candidates and their supporters, from all sides of the election, have all the leading candidates and their top supporters, those still alive, working together to find the murderers. You are the current POTUS, aka the most powerful man in the world. Seeing as this is your 2nd term, you won’t be running this year, but your endorsement is one of the most coveted endorsements of all. It’s up to you to help find those responsible for the murders, not only to save your own life, but to prevent America from falling into ruin through election rigging.
Role: Barack Obama,
Town TrackerAbilities: Each night you can target a player by sending me the command
Track: NAME. You will be told if that player visited
NAME(s) OR
None. You may not target yourself. You may elect to use the command
Track: No Target.
Win Condition: You win once all threats to the town are eliminated.
KURT HAS A TROMBONER FOR YOUR TROMBONERIt seems like just yesterday you were celebrating the new year, but now it’s time to move on from the past and look to the future. It’s early 2016, and that means the road to the next presidential election is already starting to heat up. The recent murders of several candidates and their supporters, from all sides of the election, have all the leading candidates and their top supporters, those still alive, working together to find the murderers. You are the current First Lady. Your husband is in his 2nd term so can’t run again, so you and he are no threat to the competition. However, many Americans respect your proactive efforts against some common problems in the US, especially childhood obesity. For this reason, your endorsement, along with your husband’s, is widely coveted. It is up to you to stop these murders before the election finishes before it can even begin.
Role: Michelle Obama,
Town CopAbilities: Each night you may send me the command
Cop: NAME. You will be told if the targeted player is
Town OR
Non-Town. You may not target yourself. You may elect to use the command
Cop: No Target. Your sanity is guaranteed.
Win Condition: You win once all threats to the town are eliminated.
WHO THE FUCK IS LANDMARX WHAT A SHOVELSHITIt seems like just yesterday you were celebrating the new year, but now it’s time to move on from the past and look to the future. It’s early 2016, and that means the road to the next presidential election is already starting to heat up. The recent murders of several candidates and their supporters, from all sides of the election, have all the leading candidates and their top supporters, those still alive, working together to find the murderers. You are the most distant of the living former presidents. However, that does not make your political endorsement any less influential. Anyone you endorse will get a boost, so your endorsement is coveted. For these reasons, the group making these murders has made you one of their top priorities. You know that it is your duty to America to stop these murderers, and keep America as a true democracy.
Role: Jimmy Carter,
Town Flying Pumpkin That Shoots Laser Beams Out Of Its AssAbilities: Each night you may send me the command
Bullet: NAME. This player will be targeted with a lethal action. You may not target yourself with this command. You may elect to use the command
Bullet: No Target. The chance that this command actually goes through however is 75%, the other 25% of the time you will be bulletproof! At the start of the Night Phase you will be told of that 75% chance of your shot actually happening, what the chance is that the shot will be changed to another player! Only once during the game you may use the command
AIM along with your other command; in this case the chance of your shot being changed to another player will drop to 1% for that night!
Win Condition: You win once all threats to the town are eliminated.
BROKE STRAIGHT BOIZ MAXXX & MAXXX FULL VIDEOIt seems like just yesterday you were celebrating the new year, but now it’s time to move on from the past and look to the future. It’s early 2016, and that means the road to the next presidential election is already starting to heat up. The recent murders of several candidates and their supporters, from all sides of the election, have all the leading candidates and their top supporters, those still alive, working together to find the murderers. You are one of the few former presidents who are still alive. Because of this, your endorsement is highly coveted, and the desire of many. Who you choose to endorse could get a huge boost in the public eye, which is why you are a big target by the group committing the recent murders. It is up to you to uncover the identities of these murderers, and ensure a democratic future for America.
Role: George H.W. Bush,
Town WatcherAbilities: Each night you may send me the command
Watch: NAME. You will be told if the targeted player was visited by
NAME(s) OR
None. You may not target yourself. You may elect to use the command
Watch: No Target.
Win Condition: You win once all threats to the town are eliminated.
NICK LIKES TO TAKE THE DICK HARD AND QUICKIt seems like just yesterday you were celebrating the new year, but now it’s time to move on from the past and look to the future. It’s early 2016, and that means the road to the next presidential election is already starting to heat up. The recent murders of several candidates and their supporters, from all sides of the election, have all the leading candidates and their top supporters, those still alive, working together to find the murderers. You are the current governor of New Jersey. You are widely rumoured to be running for election this year, making you a top priority to be killed by the group responsible for the recent murders. You can only truly trust yourself, and it’s up to you to stop the murders from continuing. It is your duty to protect America if you truly wish to be president.
Role: Chris Christie,
Town CopAbilities: Each night you may send me the command
Cop: NAME. You will be told if the targeted player is
Town OR
Non-Town. You may not target yourself. You may elect to use the command
Cop: No Target. Your sanity is guaranteed.
Win Condition: You win once all threats to the town are eliminated.
RUSTYDICKFIRE EATS NAILS CHALK AND GLUE ALL DAYIt seems like just yesterday you were celebrating the new year, but now it’s time to move on from the past and look to the future. It’s early 2016, and that means the road to the next presidential election is already starting to heat up. The recent murders of several candidates and their supporters, from all sides of the election, have all the leading candidates and their top supporters, those still alive, working together to find the murderers. Even though you’re noted by almost every politician, polling company, and media source as the frontrunner of this election, you still have yet to publicly announce a campaign. Secretly you desire the presidency more than anything; however, you can’t let the public know this. You have joined together with a group of people, each with your own reasons, to weed out the competition. For you, you want the other frontrunners to be dead, and then have the public begging you to run. You have one goal, and that’s simply to kill the opposition and their supporters.
Role: Hillary Clinton,
Mafia GodfatherPartners: Heartbreak,
Michael Bloomberg,
Mafia Voteless Godfather &
Codex,
Queen Elizabeth II,
Mafia Ninja &
Slizzard,
Mitt Romney,
Mafia Jester PoliticianAbilities: You are able to communicate with your partners at all times in the following QuickTopic:
www.quicktopic.com/50/H/r4hDn67XSuB . If all but one of you are killed, the quicktopic will be locked and you will no longer be able to privately communicate; once any single player is killed that player will no longer be able to communicate in the QuickTopic. During each night phase any of you, unless dead, may PM me with the command
Murder: NAME. That player will be targeted with a lethal action by the mafia in the night phase. You show up as the equivalent of
Town for all investigations of your alignment.
Win Condition: You win once your faction has an undeniable majority rule over all others or nothing can prevent this.
It seems like just yesterday you were celebrating the new year, but now it’s time to move on from the past and look to the future. It’s early 2016, and that means the road to the next presidential election is already starting to heat up. The recent murders of several candidates and their supporters, from all sides of the election, have all the leading candidates and their top supporters, those still alive, working together to find the murderers. You are a senator for Kentucky. You are rumoured to run for the presidency this year, making you a top target by the group murdering other candidates. You must help protect yourself, ensuring a safe and non-rigged presidential election at the end of the year.
Role: Rand Paul,
Town DoctorAbilities: Each night you may send me the command
Protect: NAME. One lethal action targeting this player will fail, however you will not be notified whether this was successful or not. You may not target yourself. You may elect to use the command
Protect: No Target.
Win Condition: You win once all threats to the town are eliminated.
THE VIRG4N IS IN TOWN AND LOOKING TO STRIKE OUT AGAIN LOLIt seems like just yesterday you were celebrating the new year, but now it’s time to move on from the past and look to the future. It’s early 2016, and that means the road to the next presidential election is already starting to heat up. The recent murders of several candidates and their supporters, from all sides of the election, have all the leading candidates and their top supporters, those still alive, working together to find the murderers. You are the current ruler of North Korea. With the US presidential election approaching, you know that no candidate is suitable for the position, so you don’t care enough to kill any of them. However, you are a top priority kill of the group making these murders. As poorly as the world views you, your endorsement of any candidate would be detrimental to them in the election, so the group wants to make sure you do not accidentally endorse a preferred candidate of theirs. It is up to you to cooperate and help stop this murderous group.
Role: Kim Jong-un,
Town LoverPartner: DragAbilities: If your partner dies, you will die. If you die, your partner will die. You cannot communicate with your partner outside of the game thread and do not know your partner's role or alignment, but your wife said he's probably a
Mummy.
Win Condition: You win once all threats to the town are eliminated.
SLIZZORD EATS CHICKEN GIZZARDS THROUGH HIS NOSE AND HOSEIt seems like just yesterday you were celebrating the new year, but now it’s time to move on from the past and look to the future. It’s early 2016, and that means the road to the next presidential election is already starting to heat up. The recent murders of several candidates and their supporters, from all sides of the election, have all the leading candidates and their top supporters, those still alive, working together to find the murderers. You are a flop. You ran for president not once but twice, and lost miserably both times. You are out for revenge, plain and simple. Not to mention the fact that if you kill all your competition, you are a shoo-in for nomination. You are working together in a group, where everyone has their own reasons for the murders, and your job is to simply remove your competition, one by one.
Role: Mitt Romney,
Mafia Jester PoliticianPartners: Nightfire,
Hillary Clinton,
Mafia Godfather &
Codex,
Queen Elizabeth II,
Mafia Ninja &
Heartbreak,
Michael Bloomberg,
Mafia Voteless GodfatherAbilities: You are able to communicate with your partners at all times in the following QuickTopic:
www.quicktopic.com/50/H/r4hDn67XSuB . If all but one of you are killed, the quicktopic will be locked and you will no longer be able to privately communicate; once any single player is killed that player will no longer be able to communicate in the QuickTopic. During each night phase any of you, unless dead, may PM me with the command
Murder: NAME. That player will be targeted with a lethal action by the mafia in the night phase.
Win Condition: You win once your faction has an undeniable majority rule over all others or nothing can prevent this. Alternatively, you win if you are lynched and stay dead until the end of the game. Alternatively, you win if you are voted the most times over the course of the game. If you fulfill multiple win conditions, then you lose. You only win if you fulfill one of these and only one.
It seems like just yesterday you were celebrating the new year, but now it’s time to move on from the past and look to the future. It’s early 2016, and that means the road to the next presidential election is already starting to heat up. The recent murders of several candidates and their supporters, from all sides of the election, have all the leading candidates and their top supporters, those still alive, working together to find the murderers. You are a former governor of Florida, and one of the top candidates for the presidency this election cycle. For this reason, you are a top target of the group of murderers. It is up to you to prevent your own murder and identify the murderers, preventing any further death.
Role: Jeb Bush,
Town DoctorAbilities: Each night you may send me the command
Protect: NAME. One lethal action targeting this player will fail, however you will not be notified whether this was successful or not. You may not target yourself. You may elect to use the command
Protect: No Target.
Win Condition: You win once all threats to the town are eliminated.
XIIVI AKA ZV AKA AWESOMEIt seems like just yesterday you were celebrating the new year, but now it’s time to move on from the past and look to the future. It’s early 2016, and that means the road to the next presidential election is already starting to heat up. The recent murders of several candidates and their supporters, from all sides of the election, have all the leading candidates and their top supporters, those still alive, working together to find the murderers. You are Ronald Reagan, former president, zombified. You are neither alive nor dead. Since you don’t have any legal rights, Ke$ha you don’t give two f**ks and just want to bring people back to life. Have fun doing what you do, Ronald.
Role: Zombie Ronald Reagan,
Independent ReviverAbilities: Twice at any point during the course of the game you may revive any non-cremated dead player by sending yourself the command
Revive: NAME.
Win Condition: You win if a revived player is alive at the end of the game provided you did not revive said player during the final phase of the game.
JOSHU AKA AWESOME BUT NOT AS MUCH AS XIIVISHUIt seems like just yesterday you were celebrating the new year, but now it’s time to move on from the past and look to the future. It’s early 2016, and that means the road to the next presidential election is already starting to heat up. The recent murders of several candidates and their supporters, from all sides of the election, have all the leading candidates and their top supporters, those still alive, working together to find the murderers. You are the one and only Adolf Hitler, only zombified. When you were alive, you had one true pleasure in life, which was to have people cremated. As a zombie, your true pleasures have not changed, and all you want to do is cremate people. Cremate away, Adolf. No one can stop you. Unless you get lynched, which is technically a fallacy since you can’t be killed. Oh well.
Role: Zombie Adolf Hitler,
Independent Cremation SpecialistAbilities: Every night you may target an already dead player by sending your co-mod the command
Cremate: NAME. This player will be cremated and thus unable to be revived.
Win Condition: You win if you are never lynched.